I asked my phone: "Siri, why am I so bad with women?" She said: "I'm Alexa you moron."
Today, my son asked, 'Can I have a bookmark?' I burst into tears—11 years old and he still doesn't know my na…
What's Forrest Gump's password? 1forrest1.
Why are balloons so expensive? Inflation.
What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.