What's the best present you can give someone? A broken drum. No one can beat that.
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're that good at it.
What did the roof say to the shingle? The first one's on the house.
Don’t fart at an Apple store, they don’t have windows.
I called the Dr “my wife is going into labor!” Dr asked “is this her first child?”. I said “no this is her hu…