I accidentally said "dad" instead of "dead" when a bear approached me in the woods. Now it can change a tire.
My mom was a radiologist. She met my dad when he came in for an x-ray. I wonder what she saw in him.
Why won’t swords go obsolete? Because they’re cutting edge technology.
You gotta hand it to short people. Because they can't reach it on their own.
I planned a date with this girl at the gym today, but she didn’t show up. That’s when I knew we weren’t gonna…