What do you call a dinosaur that crashes their car? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
How can you tell the sex of an ant? Put it in water, if it sinks its a girl, if it floats its a boy-ant
To everyone out there suffering paranoia, just remember, you’re not alone
I bought a 65-inch TV for $5 because the volume was stuck on 10. I just couldn't turn it down.
Why do nurses bring red pens to work? Just in case they have to draw blood.