Why shouldn't you trust trees? They seem shady.
My daughter asked me if I had seen the dog bowl. I said ‘no, I didnt even know he could’.
My son was just born, and another dad at the hospital congratulated me, saying his daughter was born yesterda…
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it'd be a foot.
How do you fix a broken tomato? With tomato paste.