What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife? Nothing, he was gladiator.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
My marriage is like a fine wine. It started out in a nice house and ended up in a box.
Just got hospitalized due to a peekabo accident. They put me in the ICU.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because it felt crummy.