I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
My wife just completed a 40-week bodybuilding program this morning. It's a girl and weighs 7lbs 12oz.
Why don't they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
Simba was walking too slow, so I told him to Mufasa
What kind of car does an egg drive? A yolkswagen.