My wife has been putting glue all over my rifle collection. She's denying it, but I'm sticking to my guns.
Why did the data base administrator leave his wife? She had 1 too many relationships.
What do you call two guys from Mexico playing basketball? Juan on Juan
What do you call a song that doesnt show up? A dead beat
How much does Santa pay to park the sleigh? Nothing, it's on the house.