My car's dashboard flashed 'door is ajar.' Buddy, a door is not a jar — it's a door!
I asked my phone: "Siri, why am I so bad with women?" She said: "I'm Alexa you moron."
A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says ‘5 beers please’
What do you call a dog that can do magic? A Labracabrador.
My wife threatened to leave me if I kept using StarWars puns. I guess Divorce is strong with this one.