I gave my wife a glue stick instead of lipstick by accident, she’s still not speaking to me.
Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
I want to go on a diet, but I just feel like I have way too much on my plate right now
Waitress: How did you find your steak Sir? I just looked next to the potatoes and there it was.
How do you eat a hard drive? One byte at a time.